Finding "The New Normal": A Conversation with Author Tammi

Healing is often talked about as a destination, something to arrive at after trauma. But for author, advocate, and survivor Tammi, healing is something much more personal: an ongoing journey of resilience, self-compassion, and community.

We recently had the opportunity to sit down with Tammi to discuss her memoir, The New Normal, and the experiences that inspired it. Throughout our conversation, one message remained at the heart of everything she shared: healing is possible, and no one should have to do it alone.

When asked what she hoped readers would take away from her book, Tammi didn't hesitate.

"It was very important for me to end on hope and resiliency."

While acknowledging the lasting impact of trauma, she emphasized that life after sexual violence or domestic abuse can still be meaningful and fulfilling. At the same time, she challenged the idea that healing is solely the survivor's responsibility.

"We all have a responsibility to support survivors. It's not on them to pick themselves up by the bootstraps... It's on all of us to believe them, support them, and not judge their choices."

That belief in community was woven throughout our conversation. Tammi shared that, early in her healing journey, a lack of support caused additional harm and made recovery more difficult. Over time, however, she found that healing wasn't about surrounding herself with as many people as possible. Instead, it was about finding the right people.

"I've learned over the years that I don't need a ton of friends. As long as you have a core group of people that you can be your authentic self [with]... that's what's going to help you thrive."

As both an advocate and a survivor, Tammi spent years focusing on the stories of others before deciding to tell her own.

"I didn't want the attention to be on me."

Writing The New Normal became an opportunity not only to share her personal experiences but also to continue advocating for survivors through honesty, vulnerability, and education.

One of the most powerful moments of our conversation came when we discussed the pressure many survivors feel to "move on" from trauma. Tammi offered a perspective that many readers may find both validating and freeing.

"I am changed as a result of what happened, and I am not healed."

Rather than measuring healing against a timeline, she encourages survivors to give themselves grace.

"Try not to hold yourself to a time."

She also acknowledged that healing looks different for everyone, including therapy.

"Therapy is like trying on shoes. If someone's not a good fit, don't give up."

Creativity has also played an important role in Tammi's journey. A lifelong singer, she began writing songs in her twenties without realizing how much the process was helping her work through difficult emotions.

"Songwriting is my way of journaling."

Whether through music or writing, storytelling has become a meaningful outlet for processing experiences and connecting with others.

Perhaps what surprised Tammi most wasn't writing the book, but what surprised her most was the response after publishing it. While she worried about how people in her life might react, she instead received messages of encouragement, gratitude, and support from people she hadn't spoken to in years.

Those responses reinforced the very message at the center of The New Normal: that sharing our stories can foster understanding, build connection, and remind others that they are not alone.

Meet Tammi at Her Upcoming Book Signing

We're excited to welcome Tammi for a book signing on Saturday, August 8, 2026, at Paperbacks Ink.

Stop by to meet the author, purchase a signed copy of The New Normal, and continue the conversation about healing, resilience, and supporting survivors.

Even better, 10% of all book sale proceeds from the event will be donated to The Center for Sexual Assault Survivors, helping us keep our services free for survivors and their loved ones.

We hope you'll join us in supporting Tammi's work and our mission to provide compassionate, no-cost services to everyone who needs them. 💙